Team C-NUT

Everybody has our measure

Black Rock 30-11-13

The only way to finish a ride

It was hangovers all round for The Corbett, The Captain, KY and still with probably no hangover yet, The Mayor.

It was meant to be a ride to Mordy but an agreement was made to turn at Black Rock. Lucky, as the once famous Corbett kilometre was coming up which for certain would have caused some northing of the night before menu.

Dim sims should have been consumed at 1am but were instead consumed around 9am with the best drink in the world - Coke. Coffee was required and it was consumed at a beautiful spot just past the Polly Woodside. Asahi's helped the hangover recovery at Club Young.

Votes :

3 - The Mayor - for continual jibberish about fit chicks and the Polly Woodside

2 - The Corbett - for the rare appearance on this side of town

1 - The Captain - they are just cabbage

Beach Road 23-11-13

"One word - Ridiculous" - Velvet Bar South Melbourne

Riders - KY, The Mayor, Joey, Piffy, Jules and a rare outing of some members of the Fast Crew with Team C-Nut, Rob and PC.

Pauly pulled the plug when a drop of rain hit his Garmin.

An absolute shocker of a day for weather but a momentus day for the Fast Crew. It was old school Team C-Nut riding in terrible weather but in tradition braved the conditions to Black rock and return, excpet for 2 riders. The Fast Crew boys are now known as the Soft Boys as they pulled the pin in St Kilda to ring their socks out in a cafe and enjoy lashings of bacon & eggs and fruit toast.

Coffe was served by Scottish quality at Velvet.

Votes -

3 - Rob - Fast but extremely soft

2 - PC - no doubt a hardman, and had a weak moment which should never happen again

1 - The Mayor - yeah, the socks make a huge difference.

Keilor 16-11-13

"Joey no issue with the 13% climb, still has a phobia with the rabbits though" - Brimbank Park

Riders - Joe, KY, Pauly, Jason C, Julian, The Mayor and later The Captain

Ride - Afton, Buckley, Rosehill, Brimbank Park, Feathertop, Concrete, Arundel - anything we could find that went upward.

Votes :

3 - The Mayor - nearly passed out at the 30% mark on Feathertop, of course not due to anything the night before

2 - Julian - flat refusal of Feathertop

1 - The Captain - flat refusal of any hill

Rutherglen 9-11-11

"Archie - 1950's Tour De France mountain climb pose - in Rutherglen"

C-Nut attendees - Piffy, The Corbett, KY, The Captain, Archie & Kylie

What occurred : Beer, dodgy counter meals, KY's 60 to 1 shot causing atomic damage at Poachers, more atomic damage with Piffy exploding on the Saturday morning ride with the locals, Archie toying with the platted hair dude, Corbett and The Captain snobbing the locals by refusing to ride, traditional Le Tour around the wineries, very enjoyable, fly blown BBQ at Cofields, appearance of Frankenstein head, KY told at by Mrs Chambers at Chambers, wine tasting is only a sip as he was lining up the traditional walnut red shooters, more beers, and a few more, dodgy underwear in hotel pool, Corbett refusal to go to Cofield's winery dinner, maximum alcohol consumed at winery dinner leading an opera and ballet lover to transform into some monster, Sunday Parkers pies were sensational, and sensationally priced ($9 wtf!), home time - recovery required.

Votes :

3 - The Captain - very disturbing activity, memory loss, an obvious best on ground

2 - The Corbett - refused to ride with locals, refused Cofields dinner, required for next year's morning ride

1 - Piffy - for the explosion at Chiltern, obviously affected by the 35 pots the day before.

November 2 & 3

"Stick your city riding up your clacker" - #not melbournesmogtraffic

A few rides this weekend.

Jules, The Captain, The Mayor and The Corbett joined forces and rode around the hills of Keilor.

The Captain took photos of the others coming up Concrete Hill. Did he beat the others to be able to do this?

Ride was finished with French coffee and donuts (French make shite coffee), then with Heinekens and Single Malt at "The House of Hilton" - WTF?

KT was also spotted getting fitter on the bike, but his piss fitness still highly questionable.

KY rode with the Anglesea locals on Saturday and again to Benwerrin on Sunday into the South Wester with a couple of strongmen (Geoff and Livio). Well one was as Geoff had to pull out due to soreness after 20 marathons. (Fair excuse)

Coffee was ok in Lorne but the $8 fruit toast served with the crust was unusual. The pierced nose back packing waitress softened the hurt.

Archie mixed with cyclocross legends like Elmo, HR Puff n Stuff and Spiderwoman in Brunswick - think they had his measure.

Votes :

3 - KT - solo early rider effort, caught him at the top of Concrete and called the others 'afternoon shift'. Still not piss fit - farkin far from it.

2 - The Corbett - for riding off towards Brimbank when the crew were just turning at bridge to do Concrete and McNabs. Why would you do that?

1 - The Captain - soft, not doing second Concrete. Oh the knee, the knee!!!!!

1 - Julian - has a fetish for single malt at before 11am


October 26

"No Corbett Kilometre today. Just a hill slugfest."
Corbett Remedial Ride no 3. It was just a sniff of what is to come as KY, Pauly and The Corbett awaken out of their winter slumber.
The right turn was not taken to Kinglake so it was circuit of nice countryside followed by full on traffic. Coffee and toast was consumed at
The Peddler Cafe (no other bikes) where KY was occosted by some bloke trying to market some form of fart gas fuel. (Probably works).
Finally wide mouthed Stellas were consumed in "The Cave of Corbett". A nice starter ride. Next chai tea at St Andrews.
Votes :
3 - The Corbett - for the slow talking Rapha pisstake
2- Pauly - showing glimpses of his old self smashing a 5 km section on the front
1 - KY - for damaging his back because of the refusal of using the small chain ring.
1 - Ryno - visited the crew, but no BIKE riding. Soft but great to catch up.

Weekend Oct 19 & 20

"The Mayor was angry because of the 2 hour wait for the ferry, until he found the alternative" - Sunday Around the Bay in a Day

A big weekend for some, but mostly a non event for the rest.

KY rode on Saturday with the locals, and then tested himself on the steep climbs in town and failed. A nice ride to Benwerrin on Sunday with only the sound of bugs on the 10km climb.

The Mayor did the 250km on the Around the Bay in a Day claiming it to be the worst ride ever. Jason C did the 210km fuelled by Hydralyte and Coq10 and did it easy, but said will never do it again. Great effort these 2 blokes.

El Corbetto once again rode around the Eastern hills of Melbourne, no doubt getting stronger to crush everyone up Kinglake when we finally get there.

Pauly & Piffy decided 'home' brew is better than riding. Evidently the smell of this new batch is slightly better than Piffy's previous efforts.

Not sure what the other knobs got up to.

Votes :

3 - The Mayor - 250kms in that wind - hard core. Beers before ferry and no heartburn - hardcore.

2 - Jason C - 210kms, swallowed numerous bugs and need to be operated on when one was planted in his forehead.

1 - KY - all cycling passion was lost, until he rode a beautiful 95kms on the Great Ocean Road. Only 50% back though.


Weekend October 12 & 13

What an epic weekend for some..............while some it was business as usual, not doing much.
There was 24 hour beyond epicness (Archie) , marathon madness (PC & Pina), less than marathon madness (Vista) & some nice riding
to Mordialloc (Piffy, Jason C, Jules, Sparrow & The Mayor), around Anglesea (KY & locals) and the rolling hills of the outer Eastern suburbs (The Corbett).
There were also another who chose the optic vision of yoga pants at the gym (The Captain) and another who was mad at blowing his thongs out so did
nothing (Mitch).
Not sure whoever did whatever for the rest of the crew.
Votes :
3 - Archie - 12th in world, podium in age group at the WEMBO 24 hour. Hats off, shirts off, pants off, g strings off to you Archie. BEYOND HUMAN CAPABILITIES.
3 - PC - Marathon man - another easy one. A couple of blisters soothed by 7% beers.
3 - Pina - Marathon man - fuelled by salt and vinegar chips
2 - Vista - the bow legs somehow ran for 10 kilometres
2 - Piffy - rode to Mordialloc with the lads, then on the turn took off never to be seen again. 
1 - Jules - it's getting boring, just pump up your farkin' tyres harder!
1 - Sparrow - supposedly the new hard man. Have you met Archie, Sparrow?
1 - Jason C - don't ride behind him when he spots the dreaded yoga pants. Can be dangerous!


"The wind took all the light away" - Control Tower Melbourne Airport

A split occurred in the peleton this weekend probably due to lack of communication or a battle of testoserone.
Group 1 - meant to go to Mornington but 'poofed' out and rode Kew Boulevard.  Group consisted of The Mayor,
Julian, Rob, Joe and new rider Wes.
Group 2 - The Archer, Pauly, Piffy, The Captain and the Corbett (only because the Hawks won) journeyed to 
the Keilor Hills for some wind action.
Others rides were Sammy riding by himself to some unknown destination and KY riding with and getting
smashed by the Anglesea crew. New owners at the local cafe meant no Baileys and hot chocolate.
The wind creamed almost everyone but probably affected The Captain's new physique most.
Votes :
3 - KT - for ringing the Kew crew mid ride from home sipping his coffee and telling them how good it was.
Bad karma though as his dog Murphy chewed up his rare and exotic chess board
3 - The Captain - for the near rolling wind spew and almost ringing his wife up for a pick up - 15kms into the ride.
2 - The Mayor - spruiking he was riding to Mornington all week but setting for Kew Boulevard
2 - Rob - for smashing the crew BEFORE getting to The Boulevard.
1 - Joe - for passing on the second Yarra Street climb
1 - Julian - for passing on BOTH Yarra Street climbs
1 - Wes - for sticking his nose up Yarra Street
1 - The Corbett - The Corbett kilometre has finally been put to bed. It is now only legend.
1 -Sammy - How far did you ride? Be honest with yourself.


"Mall riding - why wouldn't ya?"

Wiz Ride no 2 with KY, Jason C, Pauly and The Mayor. It was meant to be a pre Grand Final couple of laps around
The Boulevard, but Pauly's 'indestructible tyres' blew a fuse and virtually disintegrated. Back to the city on the Capital
Trail, mixing it with some rare exotic forms of bird life, finishing at Hell's kitchen with the purple army.
Votes :
3 - Pauly. Lost count of the punctures. Held his nerve when a punter told him he had a flat tyre.
2 - The Mayor. For the comment "That's good" and the act and continuing story that went with it.
1 - Wiz . Poo'ed his pants at Hell's Kitchen. He doesn't like dark things since his move to the Gold Coast

21-9-13 The Boulevard

"Pauly got bored with dodging runners...a quick smashfest"

Long lost legend Brendonovitch turned up for a couple of laps around The Boulevard with KY, Pauly, Jules and Jason C.
A bit of clearing of the lungs up Yarra and the School, finishing with a visit to Hell's Kitchen for wizz fizz cakes.
Another Team C-Nut law to be passed, never drink coffee where other cycling poons are sitting.  
Anyone second that?
Votes :
3 - Brendonovitch. Something about parties and a certain citrus fruit nearly made the rest of the crew vomit.
2 - Jules. For his new found love - "Hell's Kitchen".
1 - Jason C . For being able to motor up the steep climbs, and ordering "jungle juice".


"Wizza in full training for the Ironman, with Pauly and Jules assisting"
Perfect conditions for THE WIZZA RIDE to Mordy with Wiz himself, KY, Jason C, Vista, Pauly and Rust Jewells. 
Wizza, with no hair from the neck down, cruised in front, with a few efforts from others. Generally the crew kept together,
with the knowledge there was a one dim sim limit at South Melbourne Market and that there was some decent coffee.
During the ride Wiz met his Asian counterpart (with WIZ carbon wheels), with Aussie Wiz giving Asian Wiz a verbal for his
go slow back to Port Melbourne. All in jest of course!
The ride finished with a cleansing Carlton Draught in Brunswick. Rate it!
Votes :
3 - Vista For scratching of a certain body area, and explaining the enjoyment in it. Also for the baggy shorts - time to go.
2 - Pauly "They built the pyramids quicker than that wheel!"
1 - Jason C Slept in, could not find us until Mentone, tried to break up the crew on one of the hills then exploded, and no dim sim!


"Chris explaining the finer points of Lady Jam"
One lap of The Boulevard, in "The Captain" tradition for KY's 1st outing in 3 months, with Joey, Jules and Chris.
Nothing too dramatic with Yarra and The School Hill and nothing much more.
Coffee in Collingwood with no other old blokes in lycra.
Votes :
3 - Joey Why is it the waitresses take a shine?
2 - Chris RH plus model
1 - Jules Clearly toying with the others, or absolutely ROOTED from his sorrento adventure.


The Mayor and Jewells rode to sorrento and back for enjoyment, fuelled by pink donuts, early ales and soy lattes.
Evidently rode back home into gale force winds. 100 points for effort, zero points on the intelligence rating
3 votes each for the Big Balls awards.


Some went mountain biking (Pauly in the You Yangs)............others claimed some other sort of riding.

Russ and Julian were up for the words of the Mayor :

Jules and I cruised down with wind behind loving life. 
This picture on Oliver's Hill on way back!

Ride home absolutely shite into wind and had to drag Jules arse the whole way

Saved by Betty's cafe with breaky wrap and two coffees!!! 

3 votes. David for finding another reason not to ride! 
2 votes Paulie for being Crook and not riding
1 KT for just not turning up and saying he was a bit tired!!   

We are exempt as we rode 115 km , half into a 35 knot wind.


10-8-13 The Boulevard

The ride -  Another flat!!!


Julian 3 for 3 flat tyres!!!!
David Two for asking where  gastroc muscles are ... Doctor my arse
One to Russ going all Euro with no helmet!

Also one vote for Stevie for the headphones...........and ignoring everyone because of them!

Special mention Joey for speaking Chinese in China town at top if his voice. That's a vote for sure!!

Mayor has spoken and voted!



Magpies love the blinger than bling!

Magpie report: on Sunday headed to Wildwood, minding my own business in the safety of a cold August morning when a wicked magpie launched an unsolicited attack just after the bid dipper & close to the fire station. The firey suckling on a dart had a good laugh. Prick. I escaped but no more aware. Aghast 10km on a 2nd attack, grabbed my drink bottle & attempted water torture & then realized it didn't work & I was out if water with 25 kms to go. Luckily no serious injury but beware brothers they're out early & it ain't even spring yet!

3 Votes McShanag

27-7-13 Yes Beach Road

Beach Road Knob Ride

Votes :-

3 - Julian : Hanging shot on Campag boys after crew dragged his sorry ass back from Black Rock

2 - Rob Poulter : Turning just after Black Rock but not before smashing the crew at 45 kmh with a sore knee!

1 - The Mayor - Nearly pushing Julian off his bike before setting off. Mayor gets credit for votes for best cafe experience for Joey and Jules.

Joey special mention for almost white knicks........

Melburn Roobaix

Report to come..........

June 15

"Yeah, hard nuts at First Pour"

Evidently nearly a  complete lap was ridden. That's pushing it.

Votes :

3 - The Captain - for the discussion on a certain forbidden topic.

2 - Jason E - rode from Lilydale, that's having a dip!

1 - Julian - near Vomitron up Yarra Street


June 8

A fair crew for the journey to Mordy on Saturday. Virgin ride for The Captain's new Wilier. Not sure if it is a sprinting machine or hill climber.

Donuts with jam and cream at Europa, 2 new riders, Chris and Andrew,  and usual mayhem. KT wins the big balls undies again for his 5km turn at the front into Mordy.

Votes :

3 - KY - for breaking his wrist the day after mountain biking in Anglesea, spending 3 days in Geelong Hospital. A great weekend!

2 - The Captain - for supposedly holding back the new Cento CR so that he could ride with the rest of the crew.

1 - Piffy - for not turning up because of the barrage he would have received after the monumental Carlton loss.

Dirty Boys in May

While some were galavanting around California trying to be pros Pauly, Archie and The Corbett were going feral around Melbourne.

Highlights - Pauly, Archie and The Corbett completing the Dirty Gran Fondo

Archie winning his age group at the 6 hour at Forrest See 40+ results

Pauly and Archie competing at the Whittlesea Cyclocross event with Archie running second due to a puncture, and someone in the crowd handing him his Enve wheel. See Masters results

Archie being the only non bearded and non tattoo'd man at polo.

Votes :

3 - Archie - only person eligible for the "Podium Crew"

2 - Pauly -  loving dirt........and now ballet

1 - Corbett - who is he, where is he, why does he barrack for the Hawks?

California 2013

We have been away at the Tour of California.

See 2013 California page and Photo Gallery.

We are back so weekly reports to come.

Guess who this is in Santa Barbara?



April 20

"Pauly in his natural habitat - whereabouts unknown and feral" 20-4-13

Feral rednecks :

Pauly and KY joined together for some 'urban mountain biking' along the river from Essendon to Brimbank. Highly enjoyable. Included creek crossings, river crossings, single track, 4 wheels drive hacked tracks, kangaroos and getting lost. a rare outing for the Norco and as usual handling all thrown at it. Pauly was in his element. Plenty of shoes out there. Assume the dead bodies have long gone!

Road trippers :

A beautiful Saturday morning, heading to Panton Hill, The Captain, Joey, Stevie, Russman, Julian and fast crew members KT and Clarkey. Steady riding, competent hill climbing and 92 km’s round trip made for a great training ride pre California. KT and Clarkey uncomfortable with the slower pace but left with Joey at Panton Hill to smash it on the way home. Stevie and the Russman led Julian and the Captain back at a steady pace to Brunswick for coffee and fruit toast at St. Ali North. Great ride, great weather, great teamwork! Thanks Stevie!


3. KT. Stop the bullshit about having to get home by a certain time and admit it’s because the others a too slow for your usual smashfest!

2. Joey. See above reason.

1. Russman. Berating Steve and the waiter at St Ali because it wasn’t licensed and he couldn’t get a beer! It was 10 o’clock in the morning for f*cks sake!!


April 13

"Bike trackin' Moonee Ponds Creek"

The Mayor, Julian, The Captain and KY bike tracked it all the way to Kew Boulevard to make a few discoveries there. KT and Joe both 'poofed' out on their trip to Kinglake because of this wind and we all later caught up with The Corbett. 3 laps with all the trimmings (for the most) with KT doing a double Yarra Street trip. Supposedly Sam was also out there but not sighted by all. A nice 85km ride all up with coffees and banana bread at "First Pour", some registering for Melburn Roobaix and it was then The Corbett who lead the way back through the city, bike trackin' of course. Beers for some carbs to finish off the ride at Club Young.

Votes :

3 - KT - for showing complete lack of understanding of the RULEs (must stop at bottom of Yarra Street and School hill for maximum pain), explaining that every ride must be painfull, getting taken on by a single speeder of Yarra, not allowing him to 'win' and for not drinking a beer after the ride with the crew.

2 - The Corbett - for the high socks

1 - The Captain - for the soft option of waiving off Yarra Street

April 6

"Yep Olivers is not steep enough for the small ring"

The return of Wiz meant it was a long flat one. He was joined by KY, Joey, The Mayor and later Supa for a smashfest to Frankston and back. A smashfest it was, especially on the way back as every poon wanted some blood in everyone else's noses. For the most everyone stuck together with Supa so rooted he missed the smell of the plum jam at Europa. 112kms with the most near exhaustion. Standard 3 beers at Club Young to finish off.

Votes :

3 - Joe - for the comment at Europa "Putting 4kgs really affects your form on the bike. I have gone from 68kgs to 72kgs!" WTF is that?

2 - The Mayor - at the front doing 40 kmh "I am not sure I should be here"

1 - Wizza - for nearly destroying "The Jacket" owned by the Mayor with gallons of sweat.

March 16 & 17

"Shagged to the max" Mansfield 16-3-12

Pauly, KY, The Mayor, Brendo, Piffy, Jason, Rob and KT for some strange reason decided to head to Mansfield for a ride to Mt Buller and back. A great day. The mix was a shady motel in Benalla, doing u turns in front on the breathalizer, dodgy slurpees, crunchy wedges at a roadhouse, tough ride to Buller, lead outs by quality, cake throwing contests at riders, angriness with punctures, beer stops mid way, saturation with 20kms to go, more beer at the end, crit racing in Mansfield, car sleeping. A lot of fun!

As for the others there was some smashing by Julian and The Captain in Keilor.

Votes :

3 - KT - 2 punctures on the way up to Mt Buller meant that KY had his measure. Never seen someone as angry!

2 - Brendo - in serious hurt zone close to Mansfield. Great effort getting there.

1 - The Mayor - he knows about carb loading.

March Long Weekend

Well done to the lads that did both Donna Buang and Macedon on the weekend without spewing their hearts out.

Joey did the Mordy thing, KY did a couple of 100km rides around the Great Ocean Road, Archie was giving shaka's all round at the MTB even at Buller, Corbett was eating dog off the street somewhere, and not sure what everyone else was up to.

Votes -

3 - The Captain - powered on climbs by kankles.

2 - The Mayor - powered on climbs by some sort of synthetic substance

1 - Julian - I can't imagine the pain he went through


"Hey Knackers, it's a coffee machine. A Wonder of the world!"

Fair crew for the return from the long term injury list for Joey. Big turnout with KY, Julian, The Mayor, Piffy, Joey, PC, Jason C, The Captain, Chris, Supa and long lost CNUT Jason E.

It was a jaunt to Black Rock for Joe to test the dodgy hip, coffee at Supa's (The Capatin had 4!), dim sims ignored this week and back to Form Cafe in Essendon for some more coffee.

Votes :

3 - Joey - for the comeback, was in pain but kept it to himself. Take a leaf Captain.

2 - KT - evidently requested PC's bike for his mid week ride up Baw Baw because it had a compact. PC later decides to ride but KT not willing to give his bike back. Just get a better bike KT.

1 - Jason E - another comeback, and road the full 150 km in a round trip from Lilydale. On form.

1 - The Mayor - no mountain bike ability. Came off in South Melbourne jumping a gutter. The poker face returned!

23-2-13 Carrum

"Just a little abuse riding on this track!"

The Capatin, Jason, Pina and KY set off in absolute perfect conditions to Carrum. Good riding, kept in their own group, heard the splattering on skin and abuse in a big group crashing going the other way. The Captain was determined to get a 100km ride and it was achieved. Only after a dim sim stop at the 85km mark! Nice iced chocolates with fresh figs at the finish at Form Cafe in Essendon.

Votes :

3 - The Captain - never seen anyone so happy achieving the ton!

2 - The Mayor - for saving the Koala in The Otways.

1 - Pina - for once again talking to any female within 3 metres! BACK IN FORM! Was he ever out of it?


"The Boulevard - again"

Standard fair - Pauly, KY, The Mayor and The Captain. A few laps of "boots 'n all" for some, others explained 'they couldn't do it!"

Votes :

3 - The Captain - for his rant on people who believe they are different, but are in fact not different. Specifically fixie nubes and St Andrews wool wearing hippies.

2 - Pauly - running on one lung is not great at The Boulevard. Will he ever be 100% again?

1 - The Mayor - start of his warefare with his bike. Watch out when he gets fit!


Ride report for Monday.

Dandy's with the dandies. Ellis, Piff, Brendo, Kyllie, me and ring in Chris. 1/20, Wall and other Nongs standard fare, give or take some random one way strip of vertical that Brendo sent us up then walked up.


3 to Kyllie for smashing all the boys - without socks.

 2 votes for random old mate Chris for being belted up the climbs but being talked into doing the Wall even when he was almost dead.

1 vote to Jason Ellis for still having the breath to tell Kyllie (for the 27th time) that he made it into the fire brigade - even as she passed him up the climbs.

2013 CAV 19-1-13

"Ryno, you are not Euro, you are a Victorian!"

CAV Weekend : CNUT crew were KY, Pauly, Archie, Crusty & Scotty

What was it all about?

Tough road trip, big burgers, XXXX beer, coffee quality decline travelling West, testing Skoda computers for fuel, Rammstein, catching up with friends, Canadian club filth, Canadian Club Hat, beer, emu jersey, pschodelic jersey, Corkscrew no warm up, Cattle hills, early beers at best cricket ground in the world, lamb for lunch, salmonella flavoured goat meat, "Giro" style stage on the dirt not suited to $15,000 Parlees, 2000 metres climbing in 100kms, all survived somehow (with some swearing), washed down by cleansing ales at Norton Summit pub, continuous payouts from Ryno, Beer and wine presentation at Craig & Julie's, Archie wins the emu jersey and then threatens the Freeza Rooter will be in snow and the leader's jersey sleeveless, his comment "I am gonna fark them up!", Macka in some rare "bitching' form, Taxi 100kmh in 50 zone, Sunday Norton summit time trial, Scotty and Julie an unbeaten combination, Macka spew at top of climb, coffee in Norwood with Andy from Fyxo, Archie calling Sunday "no humour day" because of the emu jersey, pizza lunch at Glenelg and then ride around the coast - beautiful, not before Archie's spat with a car owner at the car show, 80 kms with a little climb, Pro criterium race with bidons full of vodka, lemon and tonic, Archie lookalike Greipel too strong but only after Ryno stopped 'frothing' when Jensy was out front, more beer and golf at local pub, yes a driving range inside the pub! WTF? Brown eyes to Ryno, ride home in dark, Archie smashing phone, Tougher road trip home, coffee got a lot better after the border crossing.

To Ryno and all the rooters, you have a great crew there and thank you for well over achieving on the hospitality stakes. We won't critisize the points system because Ryno is like Lance, he has to win!

See you next year!

CNUT Votes :

3 - Archie - left himself open for abuse all weekend, thought he could deal with it but no, an angry man!

2 - Scotty - has a Fabian bike with a motor, where did that form come from?

1 - Pauly - felt every pedal stroke, doesn't want to ride a bike again.

1 - Crusty - his bike wanted to turn away at the dirt stage. Was dirty inside.

1 - KY - wanted Southwark, where the fark was it?




"Dim Sim Johnny" ride to Williamstown and then to South Melbourne Market for those steamed balls. Coffee was had at Pina's choice in Bay Street followed by Peronis at Club Young. A nice 75kms.

Riders : KY, Pina, The Captain, Jason and Piffy.

Votes :

3 - Pina - for going down like a bag of shite in front of a a big audience at Docklands - HILARIOUS!

2 - The Captain - absolutely pasted KY for doing 40 kmh along the beach at Williamstown, only to be pasted by a local woman walking their dog upset with the vulgarities coming from The Captain's gob. Last word from The Captain "SHUT YOUR EARS!" - WTF?

1 - Piffy - for somehow keeping up of his single speed, and then blowing a 10 year old tyre. They don't last forever Piffy.



Beach road standard fair to Mordy, then Dimmies. ALL FOR WIZZA!

Riders : KY, Wizza, The Mayor, Crusty, Brendo, Pauly and The Captain.

Votes :

3 - Crusty - with the new Parlee which meant anything on Beach Road was inferior.

2 - The Captain - only rides when Dim Sims are involved.

1 - Brendo - he deserves one!



"Last ride for Joey for a while"

Only Joey, KY and The Captain were brave enough to take on the front that was heading their way Saturday morning. It was supposed to be Mordy but KY made the call to The Boulevard.

One slower lap and then Joe smashed the 2nd lap just to give his hip one more workout before some butcher opens his leg for surgery. Perfect timing as the deluge hit us while we were having cofee at one of Joe's haunts. Put it down to experience.

Votes :

3 - The Captain - was telling the others he is trying to lose weight by not eating any dinner the night before, and having skinny milk in his coffee. The cafe owner explained Saturday was "pancake day'. The Captain weakened in a millisecond and proceeded to power eat those pancakes. Willpower - absolutely non existant.

2 - Joey - last minute smashing before he is put to sleep for hip surgery

1 - KT - called for King Lake, but chose to stay in bed!


"Joe in Italian mode"

Joey, KY, Julian and later Pina for 5 minutes journied to Kew Boulevard for a couple of lazy laps before the afternoon smashing of livers. No real highlights except that Julian climbed his "Everest" by getting past Yarra Street without a hint of vomit, and Pina turning up late because of his beauty sleep, to not even make it to The Boulevard. Nice coffee and custard donuts at some Italiano joint. (Giant coffee - see 2013 pics)

Votes :

3 - The Captain - not for not riding, but attempting to jump on KY's table tennis with the black Focus, only to smash the table, and all cocktails on it.

2 - Pina - the lycra did not need to be washed.

1 - The Corbett - rode from Club Young to the Mansion of Corbett carrying a Hoegarden. Why wouldn't ya!