Team C-NUT

Everybody has our measure

Pre Ride Preparation

FRIDAY MAY 10, 2013

Arrival – Manhattan Beach!


Ride to Manhattan Beach on cruisers then to Venice Beach & Santa Monica Pier. Ran into Tina Turner on Santa Monica Pier. Lunch with Keely, KY’s fav; Hennessey’s for ice hockey; fine Italian dining @ Magiano & then KY’s birthday dance. Back to Hennessey’s for hour of power with tall people! Best sign at Venice Beach goes to the guy who had “Kick me in the nuts for 10 bucks”




3. KT’s phone rampage

2. Russ riding cruiser with compromised handlebars

1. KY happy 50th plus 1 day



Manhattan Beach


Bus tour of LA. More dodginess on Venice Beach. Mugged by money hungry comedians and artists Hollywood Boulevard. Farkin over-rated. Joe getting upset with driver talking about differing gas/petrol prices. Bus driver promised that in the market there would be food from all over the world, no meat pies. Panchos for shared dinner experience (10 second rule) & band. 90% of photos wiped that night.




3. Sam jumping into Joey’s bed! Awarded the rainbow jersey.

2. Dr Hilton – leaving specs at Mangianos the night before only to find them being used by the proprietor.

1. Rob – Walk of shame on flight over – was found in economy, not first class, well overdressed

1. KT – suited up on plane in first class & enjoying Rob’s walk of shame

1. Russ – 2 phones & excessive tipping

1. KY – sleep walking in underwear on 1st night

1. Joey – for his issue with the bus driver re gasoline pricing.

1. Ryan & Jen for only drinking one beer & took all day to fit the roof racks.


The Cannondale DuVine Tour


Welcome to California!

Your guides will greet you in Los Angeles and the cycling adventure of a lifetime

begins! We’ll shuttle to Oceanside, CA for a light snack and coffee before being fit to our Cannondale bikes. Hitting the road, we’ll loosen up our legs with a ride inland to Escondido, the TOC’s official start. We’ll catch all the action as the racers compete for Stage One glory and the first leader’s jersey of the race. After the race, we’ll refresh ourselves at the Welk Resort before celebrating the start of our tour with a delicious California dinner.

Meals: Lunch / Dinner

Destinations: Los Angeles, Oceanside, Escondido

Accomplished: 64.10 km, 549 metres climbing, 34.1C average temp

Votes (for early AM activities)

3. KT falling out of taxi after Panchos cutting his neck.

3. KY riding the vomatron and redecorating the bathroom at the Belomar.

2. Rob questioning whether he was the only one drinking alcohol.

2. Russ getting lost in the hallway whilst looking for the bathroom.

1. Dr Hilton – for trying to convince all he was acting sensible at Panchos. The band told him to stop yelling “Freebird!”

1. The band at Panchos for playing “Just what I needed” by the Cars we were leaving making us stay for another dozen gin & tonics. Also for the band playing plenty of Aussie classics for us.


Additional votes for Day 1

3. Russ & Sam for getting into the bus 1st day due to not coping with the massive hangover (that everyone had!)

2. KT for telling Katie that he looked after us all & made sure we got home safely from Panchos whilst still icing his face. (refer to photos in regards to his intelligence level)

1. Rob taking the race against kids on fixies way too seriously at stage end in Escondida. Lesson for kids – do not poke a bear!



To the Summit of Palomar Mountain

Facing us today are twenty-one awesome switchbacks. But this isn’t l’Alpe d’

Huez. Today we’ll conquer Palomar Mountain, one of the most challenging and rewarding climbs in Southern California. At 11 miles long, with an average gradient of 5 percent and over 2,500 feet of elevation gain, this road will be sure to get our hearts pumping. Who will summit first? After we’ve conquered the mountain, we’ll refuel with a gourmet picnic lunch before transferring to Palm Springs to catch Stage Two. Afterwards we’ll settle into the Colony Palms Resort and replenish ourselves with a nourishing dinner.

Meals: Breakfast / Lunch / Dinner

Destinations: Escondido, Santa Ysabel, Palomar Mountain, Palm Springs

Accomplished: 63.88km. 1,149 metres climbing, 35.0C average temp



Votes for Day 2

3. Sam picking up used porno on the side of the road on Mt Palomar.

2. The Captain for actually noticing there was a porno on the side of the road. Also for the comment "Who buys pornos now? There is everything you need on the net!"

1. Rob almost taking out Stefano, our Cannondale pro, on the 1st descent.

1. Sammy wore his coveted white shirt, with no result.

1. Teamcnut – star chasing at Palm Springs, with team manager, Rory, Stefano, Peter Sagan and his brother, and drinking beers in the Cannondale bus.

1. KT - And on the road losing time in the GC after a very poor performance on Mt Palomar with KY (full time athlete these days & finding a purple patch on the day) riding painfully away.




Los Padres National Forest

Today we’ll transfer to Santa Clarita and ride around the Los Padres National Forest, haven to hundreds of plant and animal species, including the California Condor. With any luck, we’ll catch a glimpse of these majestic creatures on our ride. Even if we don’t, we’ll have over 3,500 feet of climbing on this undulating route to keep us busy. Complete support from the van will ensure we are always topped off with cold water and snacks to keep us strong throughout the stunning 50-mile ride that culminates with another delicious picnic before an amazing descent to Castaic Lake. After transferring to our seaside Bacara Resort in Santa Barbara, we’ll take some time to put our legs up before another outstanding meal.

Meals: Breakfast / Lunch / Dinner

Destinations: Santa Clarita, Los Padres National Forest, Santa Barbara

Accomplished: 86.98km. 1,365 metres climbing, 35.1C average temp

Votes for Day 3

3. Ryan clueless with direction & hopeless reversing (jack knifing trailer) on top of mountain.

2. KY for crap bike coaching, according to the Doctor, and for sreaming “Get off the road!!” inciting local swamp donkeys in sledging poor little Joe & Russ.

1. Jen for cramping and wearing the tutu.

1. Rob for pissing in the van.

1. KT for descending at high speed on the wrong side of the road – again! Also for restoring natural world order and smashing KY.


Quote of the day : Lady in lemon dress at sprint stage “ Remember my name as y’all be screaming it later!”



Into the Santa Ynez Mountains

Wake up this morning in the picturesque American Riviera and ride along the coastline before heading into the towering Santa Ynez mountains. This range serves as a stunning backdrop to one of the country’s most beautiful cities and offers cyclists a chance to test their climbing legs. We’ll pedal the intense Gibraltar Grade (5 km, 8.2%) and cover many of the same training routes that American pro teams use to tune their form during early season base-period training camps. After an incredible ride, you may choose to indulge in a well-deserved massage before exploring downtown Santa Barbara while soaking in the coastal sun and ocean views. We’ll enjoy an outrageously satisfying and replenishing meal together tonight in town.

Meals: Breakfast / Lunch / Dinner

Destinations: Santa Barbara, Santa Ynez Mountains

Accomplished: 68.91 km. 1,788 metres climbing, 24.7C average temp

Votes for Day 4

3. Doctor’s obscene nudity encouraging (scaring) all of us climbing Gibraltar – wins Rainbow tutu.

2. Russ – big jocks for having really big balls, doing bulk of the work on the road & fast descending.

2. Doctor wins mani pedi award for insane vanity.......self professed “straightest gay bloke ever”.

1. Sam mistaking the pacific for the Mediterranean.

1. KY for asking Cookey from GreenEdge his Kit Kat strike rate in California.

1. KT for his pitiful performance of not going under water in the ocean.

1. Jen wins the Rainbow jersey for driving into trees losing The Captain’s Cateye in the process.

1. Joe for organising Tour of California in conjunction with his 15 year anniversary – Doh!



California’s Central Coast

We’ll transfer north this morning to the quaint town of Santa Ynez in the heart

of California’s Central Coast, a renowned wine-growing region. From here you’ll cycle through beautiful vineyards and serene ranchlands out toward the agricultural community of Santa Maria, stopping en route to sample some of the State’s finest Chardonnay and Pinot Noir varietals before catching the pros race past en route to Pismo Beach. We’ll then take a transfer to San Francisco and rest our legs at the Argonaut Hotel. We deserve it. Tonight we’ll celebrate with a farewell dinner together out on the town.

Meals: Breakfast / Lunch / Dinner

Destinations: Santa Ynez, Los Olivos, Foxen Canyon, Santa Maria, San Francisco

Accomplished: 53.9km.  592 metres climbing, 24.3C average temp



Votes for Day 5

3. Joe – madman carrying stick with shirt off intimidating cyclists – awarded tutu.

2. Russ – “gravity always wins” – rainbow jersey.

1. Doctor’s shocking was that playlist?

1. Sammy to the front & then BOOM!......or POP!

1. KT strong man 10 mile pull to Riverbench Winery for lunch – awarded big jocks.

1. Joey at Riverbench after acting intelligent with the girl serving the wines, walked out and said “would you do her?” with her in voice shot.

1. Pilots too much sleeping on the bus. As soon as there is any motion they get a semi, don’t declare and then sleep.


Arrive San Francisco after extended road trip. Checked in at the Argonout. The Slanted Door for Asian Fusion (is there such a thing?) and said goodbyes to Ryan & Jen.



Goodbye to California.... NO ONE MORE DAY, Knackers!

After breakfast, we’ll cap off a spectacular week with one last amazing ride across the iconic Golden Gate Bridge into Sausalito and the Marin Headlands before returning to the city by the bay - a truly quintessential experience. Once back in San Francsico, your guides will bid you farewell and you’ll have time to explore the splendor of this incredibly city.

Meals: Breakfast

Destinations: San Francisco, Golden Gate Bridge, Sausalito

Accomplished: 91.82km. 1,546 metres climbing, 23.1C average temp



Votes for Day 6

3. Sammy – for extending his opening hours the night before, to see the sights, check comfort of local benches before somehow arriving home at 4am.

2. KY – for taking the pro level Cannondale EVO off road in Marin County. Why? – it is the home of mountain biking. And for sneaky hill points in front of KT at base of Golden Gate Bridge.

1. The Pilots for actually once hanging back to assist The Captain

1. The Captain – last ride for the trip, and he made the tough climb! And for stealing KY’s wallet, not telling him.





MT DIABLO Queen Stage Tour of California!

After breakfast, we’ll do the big one - Mt Diablo. More fucking climbing.

Meals: Whatever

Destinations: Livermore to Mt Diablo summit and return

Accomplished: 65.69km. 1,112 metres climbing, 28.2C average temp




Votes for Day 7

3. KT – wheel sucking all the way to Diablo. There were 2 teams on the road that day!

2. Russ – very early KABOOM! The pace was hot though.

1. Doctor’s no show on the road. Too much Facetime activity



Total distance accomplished this week:  495.18 km


Total climbing accomplished this week:  8,099 metres

Average temperature this week : 29.2C



Post Ride Warm Down

SUNDAY MAY 19,2013

San Francisco




3. Rob – early departure after breakfast – no excuses!

2. Teamcnut for taking no interest in final stage of the Tour of California.

1. KY – introducing breaded barman to our theme song “Sex with a bearded man” by the Beards and making him play Aussie music at the California Wine Bar.


Sightseeing highlights : Bay to Breakers crew post run (another excuse for a piss up), Cable car tour for retail therapy, stop at crookedest Street, Izzy’s steakhouse for dinner with Katie


MONDAY MAY 20,2013

San Francisco




3. Alcatraz by tour boat. Audio guide brilliant!

2. Clam House for lunch at Pier 39. Entree oyster shooters, followed by 2 litres of wine. More crab in various forms after that.

1. Baseball Giants smashing National 8 to 0 at a T & T Stadium. Momo’s for warm up followed by local pub crawl.



San Francisco depart




3. KT – home via Sydney – outrageous class warefare!

2. Golden Gate Park – hired bikes & rode down to a very windy Pacific Ocean. Dodgy Indian food at the park.

1. Final round at Knuckle’s Bar. A couple of ‘free’ SF Coors Light glasses straight into our bags.


Airport transfer pickup at 5pm for the “Hell ride” San Fran / LA / Melb.


Farewell California!


Hello Giro 2015!


A Few Gems

The rest are in the Photo Gallery or all over the net somewhere...................